Mid-Lifing
We expect our midlife existence to suck. Why wouldn't we? Media, our peers, everyday people you just meet …. Midlife women don't matter. Your life is supposed to suck at this point. It’s supposed to be a has-been.
Day before my 45th birthday
I see it in so many faces of young folks when I say I'm turning 45. Society loves to trash aging, but the fact of the matter is we are all going to be mostly “old” for most of our lives. This may come as a surprise to modern beliefs. But, call me a rebel… because midlife is kinda fucking awesome. Let me explain…
In our 20’s we are oh so bright-eyed and ready to find our purpose with a dash of irresponsibility (fun but unsettling). In our 30’s we take on more responsibilities, maybe a bit more sure-footed… maybe still searching a little. Then comes our 40’s… when society tells us we drop off the radar. We are supposed to become nobodies in these years according to popular belief.
But I feel the opposite. Midlife is powerful. Your mind arrives at a place of “I don’t give a fuck what you think.” You feel comfortable in your skin and at peace with the person you are. You have the power to create boundaries and to cross borders if you want.
About ten years ago, I went to a women's gathering in Costa Rica. The gathering had women of all ages spanning from newborns to women in their 80’s. We had fire circles at night and talked about all kinds of things. But, there was something different in this mini women's world that we lived in for a weekend. The voices of our elders were amplified more than the youth.
girl power
I know that shouldn't feel so different, but it did. And I feel this is the way it should be. After all, it's the experience of our lives that brings us knowledge and wisdom. But, we live in a society that is the opposite. We are constantly choosing to listen to the youth and silence the old. Why is that?
Is it because we are visual people? Is it because our view of beauty is rooted in young and new? When I look in the mirror these days… It's true.. I do sometimes feel confused at what I'm looking back at. A life filled with lots of sunshine and smiles, the lines on my face do not lie.
I find myself reading about face oils and doing things like microcurrent facials and actually wearing sunscreen. I don't like to drink too much because I hate the hangover— honestly, it's been forever. I read all the labels on anything I eat and try to only eat nutritious foods. I get out of bed before the sun comes up because I love being the only one up in the house and having a moment to myself. I guess this is midlife?
Do you want to know what all that feels like? I feel like a motherfucking goddess. I have lived through heartbreaks, loss of loved ones, had multiple businesses, lived in another country, and a man walking the path with me for 25 years. I've raised children who are out in the world starting on their very own journey. Beginning their very own story… pretty much the first chapter.
I am strong. I am powerful. I am a dreamer. And, I'm not gonna lie… I do like to color in the lines but I draw the lines I color in. I'm a midlife woman… I am the past, I am the present, I am the future. Happy 45 to me.
