Motherhood

To explain what motherhood means is so crazy difficult. I’ve been trying to find the words all week. It’s almost like explaining what is the meaning of life or what is god? It's all encompassing of so many feelings that words don't really do it justice.

When I first became a mother, I was 23. I had no idea what I was doing. Jason and I were so young. I remember leaving the hospital so amazed they were gonna let us kids drive away alone with this tiny human. That first night at home I remember Jason looking at me in amazement and asking me “How do you know what to do?”.

I think when you give birth to a human and feed them from your body it's the closest I have ever felt to nature. It's when you realize that you are an animal too. We live these lives almost removed from our instincts but when you are a mother your instincts are your guide.

Though, I don't believe that giving birth is what makes you a mother. I think these mothering instincts are alive in all women in some form or another. There's also the mother who has given birth but does not take on the role of mothering. There are fathers that play the role as Mom. There are all kinds of ways to become a mother.

But one thing is true, being a mother is every feeling in the world. It's the bravest and honorable of positions. It takes sacrifice and extreme love and compassion. Your children will challenge you in ways unimaginable. Mothering is all kinds of things, but mostly it is the most pure love in existence. It's the circle of life. An experience I am grateful for every single day.